BLACKGIRLCRISIS!

BLACKGIRLCRISIS!

baringitallforlove:

Day 17: A mirror pic
I didn’t have enough chest to fill out the dress :( 
Smallchestedproblems #aprilchallenge #photochallenge #tedbaker #work #myself

baringitallforlove:

Day 17: A mirror pic
I didn’t have enough chest to fill out the dress :(
Smallchestedproblems #aprilchallenge #photochallenge #tedbaker #work #myself

Black Women are the most submissive women in the WORLD

"Black women as a whole have a much higher rate of molestation and sexual assault than any group of women, we have a much higher incidence of growing up in fatherless homes than other women. This often translates into internalized low self esteem and low self worth. Add onto this, the fact that many of us suffer the psychosocial effects of generational post traumatic stress syndrome passed down by our mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers and so forth. Finally top it off with the present climate in western culture which demeans and works to degrade the self value of black women as well as their value within their immediate culture and the culture at large.

All of the above translates into a culture of women operating from a perspective of lack and vulnerability. This not only affects their individual perceptions of self but also affects what they are willing to accept in interpersonal relationships as well as their perceived position of power within those interpersonal relationships.

While black women hide behind a cultural stereotype of supposed brash aggressive dominance, this is ultimately a self defeating lie. It is a form of societal gaslighting intended to distract from our actual position as the female embodiment of a whipping post for both our immediate culture as well as society at large.

We, as a group, do not operate from a position of power in our interpersonal relationships.

Classic metaphor: Approach any female street sex worker and you will likely be confronted with a woman/girl that outwardly appears to be hardened and jaded, with a very streetwise, toughened attitude. She will claim ownership over her lifestyle and decisions and often will scoff at anyone who suggests her tough external behavior and appearance to be nothing more than a facade.

In reality this person is often heavily and cruelly dominated by her pimp as well as the other authority figures within her life (ex: the cop who threatens to take her in if she doesn’t give him a freebie). Lacking the power of self agency, her toughened experience hides an often abused and fragile woman beneath who needs support not society’s derision and judgement. Far from being able to claim sole ownership over her place in life, this woman/girl is often a victim of complicated and generational abuses and turmoil that continuing unrecognized and denied are not allowed to heal.

The above is a significant metaphor when you consider the position of black women. Often considered to be debased, lacking innocence, lacking in beauty or feminine virtue, our refusal to acknowledge the writing on the wall is overtly harming us.

Statistically black women have the highest rate of STD transmission, especially HIV because we do not require our partners to use condoms.

Statistically black women have the highest rate of OOW births because we do not require our partners to use condoms.

Statistically we have the lowest rate of marriage because many of us willingly share men and do not require them to commit to us.

Anecdotally, we will cook, clean for, and otherwise pamper any man who deigns to “choose us” . We call it proving that we can be “wifed up”.

Anecdotally we will provide for and take care of a man financially while also taking care of our children. We call it proving that we’re for real and not “gold diggers”.

Many of us are frightened by the concept of feminism and when one of us voices concern about the gender inequality within our culture and how it radiates into the culture at large destabilizing our ability to gain and maintain positions of power within other non-romantic arenas, we readily regurgitate misogynist female shaming language such as, “Girl you just need some dick”

No…statistically, black women have not only had enough dick, but we’ve had enough to last us into the next century. There’s nothing wrong with dick. I am partial to it myself, however, dick while having it’s place has not increased our net worth as women.

Net worth?

Black women continue to have the least net worth of any group in America. Let me restate that for emphasis. The LEAST net worth of ANY group—-including the horribly beleaguered “society’s out to get em” black male ().

The statistics say that black women certainly should not be accused of being gold diggers. That name is used to get us to shut up and readily accept our financial marginalization.

Part of the reason why we have so little is because too many of us have been left with the sole emotional and financial responsibility of the next generation. Acting in our trauma, we allow ourselves to be victimized again and again, then we allow our children to be victimized.

Statistically black children are more likely to live in poverty than any other race of children in America.

Now let’s really dissect this. When I say sole financial responsibility, I am not talking about the social/moral significance of OOW babies. I am not saying that other races of women aren’t having babies prior to marriage.

I am saying that other women have men (including black men) who feel the social and cultural onus to at least take care of their responsibility where their offspring is concerned, even if they no longer are with the woman.

This is really about a race of historically and psychosocially abused women who collectively are living under the weight of continued abuse. Who, much like those within any abusive relationship, are being gaslighted into believing that they are the aggressive instigator of the abuse rather than the victim who needs to be provided with the support to move away from the abuse and the tools with which to heal.

No one is going to be saving us. We have to begin saving ourselves by making the decision not only to support our sisters but also to refuse to lose any of the ground that we’ve gained by falling victim to self righteous judgement. Black women are judged enough by those that don’t look like us OR those who look like us but have different appendages. I should never hear another black woman judge her sister for an oow birth unless she’s talking about her volunteer/paid work with a non-profit organization that predominantly assists black women.

Despite what we’ve been through collectively, we seek out education like no other group of women and we must build upon that. The “black women are on the bottom in terms of romantic options” articles and studies that are pervasive right now will only gain fervor over the coming generations. Inherent within those articles is often the opinion that our increased education may be at fault. So be it. We must teach ourselves and then teach our daughters never to compromise our own self growth to make anyone else feel better including our men. We must raise our sons with a new perspective on black femininity and a better understanding of their personal responsibility.

OP is right, we are more submissive than other women, but the best solution to that is not to deny it but instead to simply no longer be so.” -froggyluv2

This needs it’s own post because it’s something I tell girls but they never believe me.

“I’m from the old school (and I don’t believe that diminishes my standing as a feminist) you should let the guy make an effort to pursue you sometimes. I would not go out of my way to visit him. For what reason? There is one truth about men. If they really want something, come hell or high water, they will go get it. Period. There would be no need for negotiations, you wouldn’t be able to get rid of him. Now, he says he will keep you posted. That’s rich.
Someone said to not call or contact him. I couldn’t agree more. He’s lost interest and that is no real reflection on you. It happens and unfortunately, too many guys are too cowardly to admit that it’s over. They are mostly hoping that you get the hint and leave them alone. Save yourself a little heartache and keep it moving. He is only a blip in your life story. There will be more deserving men in your future, but if you hang on to this transient, you will pretty much not have room for something better to enter your life.
I know, I’ve side-eyed lots of older women telling me things like this as a young woman too. God bless them. They had experienced things that I hadn’t at that point. I was naive. My youth made me delusional enough to think that i knew what I was doing. I could have been spared a lot of grief, but I guess experience is the best teacher sometimes. If nothing else, that lesson taught me well and I didn’t repeat past mistakes. Good luck to you, OP and forgive my bluntness. You figure you’ve earned the privilege once your hair starts to grey. lol” iluvsamcedes.


It’s true. All of it.

Post this publicly plz He told me he has free weekends- I work weekends. I told him I had Sat off he said Easter (hes athiest) I told him I have next Sat off I'd come to see him. He said he'll keep.Me.posted. HE WILL KEEP ME POSTED! TF!!??

BLACKGIRLCRISIS!
blackgirlcrisis answered:

See this is the stuff I’m talking about.


iluvsamcedes:

thisismeandnooneelse:

blackgirlcrisis:

muashishi:

blackgirlcrisis:

muashishi:

You should move on. Leave one egg in his basket and see what others have to offer.

I agree. My original post was sent before I was done but he is pulling away. I feel like you mentioned that he said he was a “runner” which was a red flag to me and also you noticing the inconsistency. If a guy goes from texting and skyping me all the time to every two days and being “swamped” with school? He’s pulling back. Something ain’t right. It’s all about communication and being consistent. I am torn between you confronting him about it or radio silencing. I think not saying a word would eat him up.

I personally of the silence is a killer stance. He obviously feels he has you on the hook. I think communication is required when someone communicates with you. However, if they don’t, no need to force things or put in more effort.

Agreed. Do not respond to him. No contact. Starting now. Nothing. and THEN let’s see how posted he’s gonna keep you. 

Same. I agree with yall. I remember before you mentioned that you are also a runner, but it seems like you’ve put running on the back burner for him. Him, on the other hand seems like he may have increased his pace. Dont give him all your effort, when he barely wants to contribute anything. I definitely think the silent treatment is the way to go. It says alot, through saying nothing.

This conversation is none of my business, but it seems as if she’s doing all of the pursuing.  I think it’s pretty obvious that the guy has no real interest at this point and it’s useless to keep beating a dead horse.  I think guys do as little as possible these days, mostly because girls have allowed it.   There would be no texting.  If you want to speak to me, you will do it in person or on the phone if you are not in the same zip code as I am.

I’m from the old school (and I don’t believe that diminishes my standing as a feminist) you should let the guy make an effort to pursue you sometimes.  I would not go out of my way to visit him.  For what reason?  There is one truth about men.  If they really want something, come hell or high water, they will go get it.  Period.  There would be no need for negotiations, you wouldn’t be able to get rid of him.  Now, he says he will keep you posted.  That’s rich.  

Someone said to not call or contact him.  I couldn’t agree more.  He’s lost interest and that is no real reflection on you.  It happens and unfortunately, too many guys are too cowardly to admit that it’s over.  They are mostly hoping that you get the hint and leave them alone.  Save yourself a little heartache and keep it moving.  He is only a blip in your life story.  There will be more deserving men in your future, but if you hang on to this transient, you will pretty much not have room for something better to enter your life.

I know, I’ve side-eyed lots of older women telling me things like this as a young woman too.  God bless them.  They had experienced things that I hadn’t at that point.  I was naive.  My youth made me delusional enough to think that i knew what I was doing.  I could have been spared a lot of grief, but I guess experience is the best teacher sometimes.  If nothing else, that lesson taught me well and I didn’t repeat past mistakes.  Good luck to you, OP and forgive my bluntness.  You figure you’ve earned the privilege once your hair starts to grey.  lol

^^^^boom.

She’s right. Move on and do not contact him anymore. I’m sorry.

Post this publicly plz He told me he has free weekends- I work weekends. I told him I had Sat off he said Easter (hes athiest) I told him I have next Sat off I'd come to see him. He said he'll keep.Me.posted. HE WILL KEEP ME POSTED! TF!!??

BLACKGIRLCRISIS!
blackgirlcrisis answered:

See this is the stuff I’m talking about.


thisismeandnooneelse:

blackgirlcrisis:

muashishi:

blackgirlcrisis:

muashishi:

You should move on. Leave one egg in his basket and see what others have to offer.

I agree. My original post was sent before I was done but he is pulling away. I feel like you mentioned that he said he was a “runner” which was a red flag to me and also you noticing the inconsistency. If a guy goes from texting and skyping me all the time to every two days and being “swamped” with school? He’s pulling back. Something ain’t right. It’s all about communication and being consistent. I am torn between you confronting him about it or radio silencing. I think not saying a word would eat him up.

I personally of the silence is a killer stance. He obviously feels he has you on the hook. I think communication is required when someone communicates with you. However, if they don’t, no need to force things or put in more effort.

Agreed. Do not respond to him. No contact. Starting now. Nothing. and THEN let’s see how posted he’s gonna keep you. 

Same. I agree with yall. I remember before you mentioned that you are also a runner, but it seems like you’ve put running on the back burner for him. Him, on the other hand seems like he may have increased his pace. Dont give him all your effort, when he barely wants to contribute anything. I definitely think the silent treatment is the way to go. It says alot, through saying nothing.

Post this publicly plz He told me he has free weekends- I work weekends. I told him I had Sat off he said Easter (hes athiest) I told him I have next Sat off I'd come to see him. He said he'll keep.Me.posted. HE WILL KEEP ME POSTED! TF!!??

BLACKGIRLCRISIS!
blackgirlcrisis answered:

See this is the stuff I’m talking about.


muashishi:

blackgirlcrisis:

muashishi:

You should move on. Leave one egg in his basket and see what others have to offer.

I agree. My original post was sent before I was done but he is pulling away. I feel like you mentioned that he said he was a “runner” which was a red flag to me and also you noticing the inconsistency. If a guy goes from texting and skyping me all the time to every two days and being “swamped” with school? He’s pulling back. Something ain’t right. It’s all about communication and being consistent. I am torn between you confronting him about it or radio silencing. I think not saying a word would eat him up.

I personally of the silence is a killer stance. He obviously feels he has you on the hook. I think communication is required when someone communicates with you. However, if they don’t, no need to force things or put in more effort.

Agreed. Do not respond to him. No contact. Starting now. Nothing. and THEN let’s see how posted he’s gonna keep you. 

Post this publicly plz He told me he has free weekends- I work weekends. I told him I had Sat off he said Easter (hes athiest) I told him I have next Sat off I'd come to see him. He said he'll keep.Me.posted. HE WILL KEEP ME POSTED! TF!!??

BLACKGIRLCRISIS!
blackgirlcrisis answered:

See this is the stuff I’m talking about.


muashishi:

You should move on. Leave one egg in his basket and see what others have to offer.

I agree. My original post was sent before I was done but he is pulling away. I feel like you mentioned that he said he was a “runner” which was a red flag to me and also you noticing the inconsistency. If a guy goes from texting and skyping me all the time to every two days and being “swamped” with school? He’s pulling back. Something ain’t right. It’s all about communication and being consistent. I am torn between you confronting him about it or radio silencing. I think not saying a word would eat him up.

cathieebee asked:
I want to get blonde patra braids. But I'm afraid my ski tone is too dark, or people won't like it and think in trying to be white

People will think this no matter what. People aren’t going to like it but people are also going to like it. and if you like it then mission accomplished. But I know what you mean about wanting to not feel uncomfortable in the style and what not. i don’t think your skin tone should be a problem but maybe go try on some wigs or something in the same color you want just to get an idea of how it will look?

Submission: Digta;l Love 2

First off I would love to stay I love the new format, especially since I can now go read all the submit stories without the hassle of scrolling through your blog to find them so thanks so much for that girl!! I would just like to come back to tell what recently happened between my crush;Nedim and me.

So we recently got into an argument because of course I had to overreact. I think it was manly because when you first  really had a thing for someone your feelings tend to go all over the place. Any girl that really start liking someone for the first time, the best thing to do is get advice from your family or close friends like I did.

Anyways we got into an argument because he was texting other girls and sometimes wouldn’t text me that much. Now Hold On a minute I know some of you guys are thinking. “Whoo girl you better drop him, and he ain’t no good. (lol same thing I thought) But then you have to realize YOU are not in a relationship with this person yet!  Just because he talking to others doesn’t mean anything too bad. Like my older sister Whitney told me, some guys are seriously trying to find THE girl. They may talk to you and then talk to another girl but they are just trying to figure out the girl that they like. It may be you or it may be someone else, but until you are in a relationship with this person you have to respect the fact that they are still single.

(Now if he talking about “oh babe you then one, girl I love you. 1st off if he saying that and you are not in a relationship he is playing games, cause then he would love you enough to make that commitment to you. 2nd he probably says that to a lot of girls in that case if he can dish those words out so freely.)Now if you are in a relationship already then, you guys need a one on one talk with each other.

Anyways I had my sister, her fiance and my twin come with the first time. ANYTIME you meet someone online HAVE someone with you!! ALWAYS!! I was on the phone with him in his neighborhood and I was trying to talk to him to figure out where his house was, when we pulled around the corner I saw his tall skinny butt standing on the edge of his drive. You GUYS!! My heart speed up so fast, I jumped out the car before it even came to a complete stop. Smiling and cheezing too hard. HAHAHAH, and he gave me that lanky smile, that had my stomach feeling like an endless pit. I had to stand on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his neck and he had to bend down just to hug. (Later my sister said we was hugging foreverrr)

So my twin gets out the car and so does my other sister Whitney as he shows us around to the back  of the house,where is friends are having a baroque. My sisters stay and talk outside and he told me he would so me around the house. So he showing me around the house and what not and my eyes are boring into the back of his head lmao. I was trying to look around the house and listen but I couldn’t stop staring at him. 

I just smile and nodded and I ask him , “so where is your room?” He like “Oh” And gives this cheeky smile, I push him as I roll my eyes as he shows me his room. Which was pretty simple cause he had just moved. My twin Jas, comes and asking about his puppy, which he gets out the cage and Jas goes into the living room, saying on her way out. “I going to give yall some alone time.” (rolling my eyes, that’s why you can’t take your sisters anywhere with you lol) So he sit down on his bed and I lay down on his bed next to him. 

For some reason it is kind of weird cause I felt like I have known him for a while. Like I felt really comfortable around him, and wasn’t nervous at all. So we are just talking, and he does the cutest, most sexiest things. Like he will just lay his head in his covers and then smile at me. Goodness! Never realized how the smallest things could make you smile or beam.

This is getting too long so I going to cut it short. But my sister Whitney was pregnant and I didn’t want to keep her waiting so I had to go. Even though it was only 20 minutes, those 20 minutes were everything.